Finals Came at Me Like...

I hit my breaking point Sunday night, kneeling beside my desk, ironing my homework. Disregard the 'why?'. Just know that I was, in fact, pressing my homework flat with a hot iron - that's the kind of crazy this final's week has thrown my way.

Walking around campus this weekend, and even this morning (it's not even 8 am on a Monday and already dozens of people are up), I've seen mirrored images of myself in the faces of those passing by. We're frazzled: our hair tossed into careless pony tails, or sitting wonky on half our heads from just climbing out of bed. We're tired: you can see the dark circles around our eyes, a phenomenon I never believed to be true until this week. We're stressed: shoulders sit high and breaths are short. We're liable to snap at any moment: don't ask me about this one, it was an ugly scene.

We aren't focused: where is the Peace the Lord brings?

Fellow students, I know how you're feeling this week. Finals have us all up to our eyes in studying, and soaked in our own bitter tears. But take heart, there is an end to this. Always remember, we aren't here to seek a grade or to get a gold star from our professors - our worth and value in this world lies in the hands of One much greater.

He knit us together in the womb, he knows the number of the tangled strands of hair on our heads, he promised to walk us through flood and fire, and he is the Prince of Peace.

Take a deep breath, and remember all the Lord has done.

Many Prayers,

Bekah S.

Ignoring the Courtesy Seat

Satchel on my arm, and suitcase following close behind, I made my way through Memphis airport. People of all nationalities passed me on every side, and their various colors, styles, and emotions filled the air with that specific electricity to be found in an international airport. I found my gate and began scanning the rows of chairs, looking for the courtesy seat. There it was - a solid five seats open, and on either end sat a business man and an Indian woman. Wheeling my luggage through the maze of legs, bags, and coffee mugs, I sat myself down on the end closer to the woman and smiled. Her eyes were - as cliche as this may sound - jolly; in fact, I don't know if I've ever seen quite that sparkle in any one's eye.

That same happiness in her eye, though, was met by an equal and opposite swelling in my heart. Oh how she needs Jesus. No matter how I tried to suppress the feeling, the desire to speak with her, it would not be quieted; the Lord was urging me, and He is not one to be ignored. That is how, on Friday the 13th in Memphis Airport, I began to build a relationship with the country of India.

Rumi was on her way to her home town: Chennai, India. Her nephew's wedding this this month, and for the first time in two years she will be seeing her whole family: Five siblings, their spouses, all of their children, her children, and the next two generations. For the next thirty minutes I listened to descriptions of Chennai, Indian Weddings, Customs, and stories of Rumi's family. Never once did I have the chance to speak the Gospel, despite my intense longing to. Rumi put her headphones in, and that was it. Conversation over. 

Card accompanying bracelet

But God will not be silenced by an iPhone 6 and Gummi Headphones.

Across the the room I saw a tall woman, definitely Texan, searching for a seat. I assumed she would take the other courtesy seat in my section, and watched as she make her way to it - and then change her mind, make a sharp right, and sit in the chair right next to me. Courtesy denied. Personal space invaded. Her beaded bracelet jangled as she sat down and pulled out a newspaper.

"I like your bracelet." I commented, in an attempt to make myself more comfortable with this new addition.

"Oh this? Thank you!" Her accent was strong and happy. "You know, it tells the Jesus story."

My heart skipped a beat. Here, sitting next to me, was a woman with a desire to talk and the Gospel strung around her wrist. She smiled as I asked her to please show me, and I prayed that Rumi was listening. One quick glance told me my prayers had been answered, as Rumi slowly took out her headphones and began listening. Conversation turned from the Gospel, to the goodness of God, and the blessing of our Faith in Christ, and I sat overwhelmed by the goodness of God while Rumi listened to it all.

Never limit the Lord, and never limit yourself. Boundaries can be beneficial, yes, but they can be just as dangerous. Imagine if I had allowed myself to become uncomfortable with Janis' presence and moved to a new seat? Rumi may not have heard the Good News, I may not have seen God work, Terri may not have been able to share her Faith.

Meet society head on. Be not ashamed of the Gospel. Always be looking for that courtesy seat, and don't be afraid to ignore it.

- Bekah S.

Life is Precious

Most of you reading this will never understand just how precious life is. Before I continue please let me explain that I do not say this to upset you, to make you feel guilty, or to accuse you - I am simply stating a fact. We as citizens of the United States are blessed with some of the greatest resources known to this earth: family, education, and religious freedom. We can never truly appreciate life because few of us have ever had to fight for it.

Irene was three years old when her parents abandoned her. Their disappearance left Irene the sole provider for her one year old sister Ruki. The toddler lost all sight of her childhood and before her fourth birthday had become mother of her younger sister, responsible for finding both food and shelter in the desolate village she called home. Rafiki Village was contacted and, by the grace of God, the girls have been brought into a loving home filled with the giggles and hugs of their adopted sisters; they are being taught the love of Christ, and the care of God as their Father. Irene was given her childhood back, wrapped up in safety with a beautiful bow of love on top. I know because I lived with the girls this summer.

Irene in front of Kilimanjaro

It was four or five years ago that I first heard the story of Irene and Ruki fighting for life in among the trash piles and trees, their sullen eyes gazing at me through a video screen. Two months ago, as I left Tanzania, I caught smiles and bright eyes from the sisters both on camera and in my heart. I can tell you stories of playing tag with Ruki while we laughed and laughed, and reading a book about a courageous mouse with Irene that she soaked up like a sponge. The girls are growing, and they are grateful. (Find their story here)

What I am about to ask you to imagine is unpleasant, I know, but it will help you begin to understand the gravity of what I meant at the beginning of this post. Please take a moment and clear your mind from all the happiness you feel over Irene's and Ruki's good fortune, wipe it out. Imagine, just for a moment, what would have happened if Rafiki had not been contacted. The thought is a grim one.

In this country we are surrounded, daily, by everything we could ever need well within our grasp. Even those among us who have a considerably low income or live on a Ramen-noodle-every-night-diet are more wealthy than 80% of people world wide (Global Issue). We have been given a gift simply by being born citizens of the U.S.A. You may not be a flag waver, or poll watcher, and you may think that this country is crumbling down around our ears - there are many days when I would agree with you; however,  it is impossible to deny that, in comparison to girls like Irene and Ruki, we are incredibly blessed.

So what are we doing with this beautiful gift of life? I'm going to leave that question open ended, I don't want to fling any accusations in your face and I have no intention of climbing a soapbox today. Let me leave you, instead, with this tid-bit from an amazing woman I met while working in Tanzania, it brought a light to my own life that I didn't realize I needed:

"I was born in America. That is a fact that I won't apologize for, and I won't feel guilty about it either. I could sit around all day and wonder 'Lord, why did you chose me for the life of comfort and chose these people for a life of suffering?' But in the end it will never make sense. The thing that matters, what makes all the difference, is that God allowed me the life that I had and I had better not waste it sitting around all day. It is a blessing, one meant to be shared."

I encourage those of you reading, the same as I encourage myself every  morning, to look into the every day blessings in our lives and evaluate what it is that we're using them for. Life is precious, and it is more than likely that by not having to fight for our own we could bring life to those in need of it.

In Him,
Bekah S.

The Mountain Top

The character of my days in Africa can be summed up in two words: simplicity and beauty. There was something so refreshing about the flow of life in Tanzania: waking up to the sunrise, the rhythm of drums calling children to school assembly, falling asleep to a cricket symphony and a cool mountain breeze. Honestly, it was as if I had lain my head on Nature's chest and was listening to it's heart beat steadily as it breathed calmly in and out from sunrise to sundown.

I remember the first time I saw Mount Kilimanjaro. It was...breathtaking. I could dive into detail from memory, but I'd rather share with you a page from my journal, written the first day Kilimanjaro shook it's magnificent head out of the clouds for me to stare at. 

.May 28. 

I have seen beautiful places...but never have I seen God show off like this. I'm hemmed in on all sides by distant mountains, but Kilimanjaro outshines them all. It's presence is comforting - almost protective, safe. He breathes through the thick clouds and sings, "I AM made me. I AM will save you. I AM will keep you from all harm. Look to me, and to the hills. Your help is in the LORD, and you are loved." The mountain slopes to the east and west - reaching, always reaching as if to embrace all of us in the Father's loving arms. I can see the fingerprints of God when I look at this mountain...

...just as I saw his fingerprints on every child of the village. Their smiles, laughter, tears, and sighs were all human sized Kilimanjaro's, filled with beauty and designed by God. His fingerprints are everywhere. They are on the mountain top, the meadows, the butterfly gently resting on a small flower. And His fingerprints can be found on every human in this world - never stop looking!

In Him,
Bekah S.

I Swear I Heard God Laugh!

I have always joked about God's sense of humor (I mean, will you just take a look at a platypus - it's like he said, "I wonder what would happen if I put a duck and a beaver together...OH!"). He's enjoyed his share of practical jokes on my own life, but that first night in Tanzania completely takes the cake. Before diving into the ridiculous details, let me impress this truth upon your heart:

Often times the very thing you have been running from for years is the very thing you should be running to. 

Like most stories, I have to go backward before I can go forward. Let me take you through a quick timeline of my career choices:

1st Grade: God, I'll be a vet! But I will not be a teacher.
2nd Grade: God, I'll be a kid doctor! But I will not be a teacher.
3rd-6th Grade: God, I'll be a singer/songwriter! But I will not be a teacher.
7th-College: God I'll be a writer! But I will not be a teacher.

I made a habit of saying "No" to something God very well may have been asking me to say "Yes" to. That is, until October of 2014. As I sat in training at Rafiki Foundation Headquarters in Florida, I was overcome with the realization that I had no right to say "No" to anything. If I had truly laid myself down at the foot of the cross, then any direction the Lord even whispered me toward I could only run full force in Faith and Obedience to the call. It was with this on my heart that I began to open up to a possibility I had always denied and blocked out of my mind.

"Lord, I'll do whatever it is you ask of me. Stay in Africa forever, or never go back. Live in the biggest city in the US or the most desolate town. God, I'll even teach if that's what you're calling me to. If you can use anything Lord, you can use me." 

Well, time went as time does - it passes. Plans were sketched, planned, and finalized for my trip to Tanzania and I was informed that I would be helping to lead the summer G.A.M.E.S. program with the 60 kids living in the loving environment of the Rafiki compound. My excitement was through the roof as I stepped out of the tiny customs room of the Kilimanjaro airport, and into the inky blackness of my first Tanzania night. I couldn't see anything of my surroundings on that first drive through the city the darkness was so complete, but there was an electricity in the air - a tangible vibration running through my fingertips strait to my pounding heart. I was there!

The lovely couple, permanent missionaries at Rafiki Tanzania, who picked me up from the airport were probably thinking they had picked up some kind of caffeine hyped Chatty-Cathy instead of the level headed temp they had asked for. My excitement couldn't be contained. But let me tell you, it could be sliced through - which is exactly what happened when Sara began telling me about my job for the next month,

   "We'll get you settled into the guest house tonight, and tomorrow you'll follow me around the school so you can get an idea of how I run the classroom."

I was floored. FLOORED I TELL YOU! What as this "run of the classroom" bit about? I asked Sara if there had heard her correctly, was I going to be teaching?

Of course I was.

Instantly my chatter stopped. My heart skipped a beat in complete fear before picking up a new wobbly rhythm. Then, in a flash, I remembered the previous October and my words to God. All I could do was shake my head and laugh along with God at this little turn in the road. Over the next three weeks I would grow in confidence, patience, and love in the hands of my 19 third grade students. I have plenty of stories of the ways they taught me, but those are for another time. For now, friend, let me encourage you - if you're running from anything, stop, turn around, kneel down and ask God to use you in any way He sees fit. He has promised that He already equipped us for whatever task He puts before us (Ephesians 2:10).

And if your surrender brings you anything like the 19 Tanzanian Blessings I was daily given, then it will be beyond worth it.

In Him,
Bekah S.

The Final Countdown

Months have passed into weeks - weeks into days - and days have passed to mere hours before I leave for Tanzania. Tomorrow is the day! Currently I'm in a state to match the weather outside our dining room windows: Hazy, dazed, and every few minutes a distant boom of thunder signaling "You're going to Africa in less than 24 hours and you haven't even packed yet." That part jolts me into motion - for a few minutes any way. Surrounding my bed on the floor in my room are piles of skirts and printed crew necks, snack foods including a jar of peanut butter and box of lemon drops, and six or seven of  my favorite children's books. A trail leads out of my room onto the kitchen table where important papers and almost all of my notes are strewn on each of the four corners. I'm a mess!

I'm an exhausted, disorganized, shocked, and distracted mess.

An excited, giggly, frantic, ready-but-unprepared mess.

With a capital M for good measure.

This last week before I leave has given me only a glimpse of what my job will look like once I reach Rafiki - I know that I will be working with children, that most of the permanent missionaries will be returning to the States for their annual leave, and that I've been asked to chaperon a Safari (like a trip to the zoo, but bigger and better - and I could get eaten!). There is no telling what will come my way in the next month, but when I get back you can all expect plenty of pictures and stories. 

Thank you so much for your prayers! Thank you for being a part of this incredible journey. It's almost a year to date that I felt God calling me to travel to Rafiki - almost a year to date that I poured out my heart in prayer for my parents blessings, and God's hand. Look where we are? Your support, your friendship and prayers, have brought me to this place. To anyone on the outside looking in, this place might not seem ideal - it's hectic, uncertain, and inconvenient. But let me assure you, from the inside looking out, this is exactly where I want to be.

I'm in the center of our Father's hand - what could be more right?

May the Lord bless you and keep you, may He make His face to shine upon you. 

Until June then, 

Bekah S.  

The Waiting Game

Taped up on the wall of my dorm, where I can see it from all four corners of the room, is a countdown for my trip to Tanzania. For about two months I've been putting a slash through a number as I leave for class each morning. 100, 72, 60...

45.

Forty - Five

(f-o-r-t-y-f-i-v-e)

Can you believe it? In just over a month I will in the airport, my skirt-blouse-and-sweater combo looking very bohemian as I run to catch my flight. (Of course, I'll be early, but who doesn't love a good running scene?) In just over month I will be stepping off the plane and onto the soil of Africa; I will breathe the air and soak in all the beauty of Mt. Kilimanjaro.


In just over a month I will meet the children.

The children! The reason why my heart leaps in my chest each time I mark off a number on the countdown; the reason why the countdown even exists is the children. I have seen their faces in pictures, I have heard some of their stories through videos, but soon they will be real to me.

Some days I realize how close it is and I pray for time to hurry a little faster, but the old turtle just keeps creeping: "Slow and steady wins the race," he says. "slow and steady." I am reminded that the Lord works in his own timing; was it not in His own timing that I was allowed to answer the call to Tanzania? Was it not in His own good timing that I worked with children from Tanzania in the States? Was it not?

It was, so be still my soul and wait for the Lord {Psalm 37:7}.

We often find ourselves in a time of waiting; you are not alone in your feelings of anxiety, impatience, excitement, and hope. As you watch the second hand on the clock lug itself forward, remember that His timing is perfect and that there is much to be done! My prayer is that you and I both use our time of waiting to prepare for what lies ahead, and to invest in what lies around.

My heart has been encouraged by this verse, and I leave you with it and a sincere prayer that it also encourages you.

"For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end - it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay." 

                                                                                    {Habakkuk 2:3}

May God Bless and Keep you!

Bekah S.

Banner 2015

I've tried typing up this post around five times...the words are slow in coming, and I've deleted four drafts! Typical case of writers block, and maybe a little aversion to sharing something that's becoming so personal to me. However, I am a firm believer in keeping things real, and I am walking through a new section of my life that I feel may be of some encouragement to others. With that introduction, let me finish the story I started a few weeks ago.

Late in December I was challenged to chose a verse for the new year, instead of writing a New Year's Resolution. Challenge accepted, and I shared with you all the guidelines I would be using to select a verse that was going to impact me this year. There was one Scripture on my heart from almost the moment I began looking, and ultimately it has become my banner over 2015.

"But daily I lay blows to my body and make it slave, lest after I have preached to others I myself should be disqualified." - 1 Corinthians 9:27

The deep meaning of this passage is only just beginning to settle in on me. Each morning I wake up and make the decision to say 'No' to my body's desires, and 'Yes' to submitting my body to the needs of my soul. Sometimes it means waking up earlier than I want in order to spend some extra time with the Lord; sometimes it means holding my tongue, or maybe speaking my heart.

I will not allow my body which is passing away to dictate the state of my spirit which will live beyond this world. There is a dedication to dying to myself daily (something I am working on). And all of this is for a reason: so that, after I have shared the Lord with others, I will not be disqualified myself. I don't want my life style to be all talk and no walk.

This year, my life will be on the path of change. Deliberate change. Deliberate submission to slavery in the best sense.

Most likely, you'll see more complete thoughts put up on this subject in the future. Until then,

May His Peace be with You,

Bekah S. 

Resolutely Refusing a Resolution

The dreaded New Year's Resolution, you've been looking at that blank paper all day wondering what to write. Of course the first three are routine:

    1. Eat Healthy

    2. Exercise More

    3. Improve Study Habits

After that things get a little fuzzy; you start to get a little impractical:

    4. Save 50% Each Paycheck

By now it's out of hand and your list runs away with your sanity before you can blink:

    5. Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro Before July 4th

Yes, I've been there. I've had that same terrified look that you have on right now when, after my list reaches number 50 (Live in a Van on the Beach), I realize that I've gone too far. Two years ago I wrote a post promoting the perfect strategy to conquering any resolution: Elephant Eating Etiquette. The whole idea being that you take on your resolutions the same way you would take on eating an elephant: one bite at a time. That strategy still applies to me today, even though I have foregone the usual Resolution tradition.

You read right, I didn't make a New Year's Resolution this year. After ten years I have chosen a new path of inspiration this year, based off a wonderful friend's own decision. Instead of a Resolution she has chosen a passage of scripture, committed it to memory, and is hanging it over 2015 like a banner. I too, am finding a scriptural mantra for the year, and I want to challenge you to the same thing.Let go of the impractical list that goes missing sometime before March, the one you won't keep and won't remember by July. Dive instead, into a single verse or passage out of a Word that is alive and active! Cling to it this year!

Your choice should be covered in prayer, but you probably already had a verse pop into your mind. Just for suggestion, your passage should:

    1. Present a Challenge - Your passage should challenge you to growth, it should debate/encourage a major struggle/concern in your life

    2. Encourage Improvement - The passage you choose shouldn't be something that is going to depress you, but something that will encourage you to push yourself toward the prize

    3. Give Glory to God - This is probably the most important point. But your verse, in the end, should not revolve around yourself at all, but remind you to give the glory to the God who spoke it.

Spend some time in prayer over this! Search the Word! I'll be checking back in sometime in the next week to share with you the passage that I've chosen, and I'd love to know what God lays on your heart.

Until then, may God bless your year.

- Bekah S.