Changed Forever

I've been putting this off - this last post. I was living in this hazy belief that if I didn't write about my final week at camp, then it wouldn't really be over. But nearly three weeks have gone by and the fact of the matter is that in little more than 3 hours I will be strapped into my overstuffed Cavalier, following the run of the Mississippi River back to my home-away-from-home. College is calling my name, and I would be cruel not to share my girls' story before I moved on to the next step in my life.

Mommy.

So much emotion can be tied into that one name. And when eleven girls have given you that name, emotions are prone to be strung high. That's exactly how it was for me during my last week as a counselor at Camp Summit. The Lord new what he was doing - six weeks ago my girls broke me, crumbling down a chunk of wall that has kept me closed off to many wonderful relationships for years. Three weeks ago, my girls healed me; they showed me what it is like to love a person for the sake of loving them.

I want to tell you the story of E. My precious 'junior counselor'. E's home life...it isn't a life. It isn't a home. This little one has already faced suicide at 11 years old because of the hatred, contempt, and abuse flung on her. She has a sweet spirit, a sensitive heart. She longs so much to be loved, and she found some of that love in me.

Four hours was my record for sleep each night during that final week. E wasn't the only girl having nightmares - nearly every one of my girls woke up at some point with a cry. I would sit on their beds, rubbing their backs, singing to Jesus - the Prince of Peace - until they fell asleep again.

One of my little ones, M, wasn't eating. Anything. And we could tell, as she was at least ten pounds underweight. She came to me later saying her tummy hurt - so we had a health lesson. She ate an entire cheeseburger and pile of grapes after that. It was a game all week, trying to get her to eat "Five more big bites". But Thursday night rolled around and she hugged me in her tears; I asked her simply, what she was going to eat when she got home? "My sandwich" she sniffed. My heart rejoiced!

I found out, bit by bit, the stories of all of my girls that week. Each of them heart breaking. Each of them with their own obstacles. And I fought for them. I prayed with them. I comforted them. I was their mother for a week - a mother that many of them don't have. And in among the praying and pleading with God to make himself real to them, four of my girls (E included) came to know Christ as their Father.

They have changed me forever. These girls, the girls before them, and the boys from the summer, have opened my eyes. They have opened my heart. God showed me an entirely new side of life through these children.

So, as I climb in my car and prepare to start my next year at school I have the memories of 360 children and teens following me - memories and impacts. I went to camp this summer with the intent to make a difference and change lives...but I know for a fact that the life hit with the impact, was my own.

Thank you for following this adventure with me.
Love to all.

- Bekah S.